Accepting difficulties in getting married in India and moving ahead with life
Om Sai Ram
Surrender your needs, desires and married life in the holy feet of Shirdi Saibaba.
Saibaba always encouraged unity among caste and religion but in India parents play a key role in deciding whom their Son or Daughter should marry. I know several devotees pray Sai to change their parents mind set. Some are successful and get married happily but most relationships do not end up in marriage. During such situations, all I can say is, I myself faced such pain.
There are girls who likes me but their parents felt neither by Caste nor my Status suits their family. So they quit me. The painful part was girls themselves hurt me. I realized Saibaba can't do much if my destiny is to face this pain and move on with life. In India, Marriages happen based on how much you earn, your wealth, education and various such factors. So keep your mind free and internally strong.
Sai will bless you with peaceful married life.
Shirdi Saibaba blessings for Marriage and his presence in your wedding depends on how much you leave the rights of choosing your husband/wife to saibaba's will.
Saibaba always supported unity and harmony among different caste & religions :
I am writing this article after being shocked by the mails i received in the past 2 months from September 2007 to november 2007, believe me , i received atleast 3-4 mails each sent my Shirdi saibaba devotees who says their parents or relatives ( or their soul-mates parents ) are not supporting their marriage just because they belong to different caste. I can't believe some parents even don't bother if their dear children attempt worst possible things which i can't write here.
I hope i wont be hurted my any parents for writing this article. I mostly support parents because am sure only a mother knows whats good for her child but i also have to speak generally so that they can keep this article to take further decisions. I leave the decision whom your son or daughter must marry to your self.what i write here are just words which will help us understand Our SAIBABA ALWAYS ENCOURAGED MARRIAGES BETWEEN DIFFERENT RELIGIONS AND CASTES.
Irresespective of the fact that few parents though they love to accept their children's wish, they have to face relatives and society. Especially they have their own status and image etc. But if you think hardly and if you feel your daughter or son has selected a good hearted girl or guy and the only reason you avoid their proposal is because of caste /religion issues, please think again....I request you, please think again .Who's life is it. Who is going to live. You or your son/daughter. Its their life.Do not fear for image and relatives etc.
Imagine that you are in Dwarakamai and asking Saibaba's permission :
Look at Photo or statue of Shirdi Saibaba or go to a Temple of shirdi saibaba and whole heartedly ask baba the following ....
Try to keep your family isolated in saibabas kingdom and imagine what will Baba sai if you humbly leave all your ego, pride , status and ask
"Sai , my son/daughter wants to marry a girl/guy from another religion or caste, i have been following this tradition for generations and also worry about status amoung relatives, please guide me to take proper decision "
If you pray whole heartedly, am sure saibaba will surely lead you to a happy married life for your children. I don't know your specific problem and situation.May be its complicated to the extent that you cant accept your children to marry a girl/guy from another caste or religion. But please leave all your worries and false statue and think one minute who is going to be benefited if you sacrifice your false believes to make your children happy. Only if you get a understanding son in law or daughter in law, it will be beneficial for you. Money and education won't do much but a good hearted girl/guy can bring peace in your family forever.
I am just a ordinary person trying to help children of Shirdi Saibaba to understand Baba's heart. Rest depends on your own wish based on how much you understand your children and Saibaba himself.
Saibaba does not like converting religion just to get his blessings :
i have a sai friend in Saibaba temple who is elder in his 50s and a very good soul. we used to talk about Sai Baba sometimes.
Today he was telling a beautiful incident from Narashimha swamiji book.
( Not sure about book and i really don't have proof for this incident but i am writing here because only his discussion and another girls mail about caste problem in her friends marriage inspired me to write all that you read in this page .So even if this below incident din't happened in Baba's life i am thankful for my friend as he made me write a article which i wanted to write for a long time )
Once a person heared about Sai Baba's fame that there lives a saint called saibaba who is a muslim Fakir. Somehow this person who is a Hindu got interested in converting as Muslim especially because he wants to get blessings of saibaba.
Now the person came to see saibaba in dwarakamai. Baba got enraged and told him "Dont come here hurting your father"
The person was not able to understand Babas words as he never had any problems with his father who is a Hindu. The Baba told him
"Your religion is a gift given by God based on the good deeds you did in your previous births...No body has rights to change religion because changing religion is a sin equal to hurting ones own father"
( Here sai's expresses he is against converting religion just to get blessings for materialistic life. Today most people convert to other religion just with false idea that the other GOD will benefit them. Don't these people realize theres no different Gods and different saints. All Gods and Good saints are one. I am adding "good" because there are lots of false saints and gurus out there but only they have big crowd who blindly follow them for materialistic benefits .........Am sure sai supports converting religion if you like their tradition, way of living and concepts etc )
My sai friend was telling this incident and added, that theres only proof that sai is a muslim fakir but he has everything in himself. If you see him as Ram , he gives you Ram darshan and if you worship him as Shiva like megha did, he will bless you with shiva darshan
When Baba does not support even convertion of religion, how will he differentiate between castes ?
Baba just says you be where you are. If you are a muslim pray Allah and be in your path, If you are Hindu don't create sects there also, If you love shiva go in your path and if you love vishnu go in your path...and if you are a chirstian , pray Jesus , mary and go in your path.
Our sai is so sweet that he works based on the concept of reality which is
"God is One - Sabka Maalik Ek"
Please take this article as a message from sai and i leave the decision in your hands :
So these shirdi saibaba devotees who are hurting themselves and their children just for the sake of prestiege and blind tradition must understand Babas heart that sai never has cast, creed or religion. Everyone are equal to him and sai love him who sees a person in every religion an caste as his own.
Note - The incident i mentioned above has no proof as i just heared my sai friend discussing it in Nagasai mandhir on 11.11.2007. Even i wonder if this incident really happened in Babas time but i took it positively because even if its imaginary , it helps us understand that sai supported different caste and even different religion marriage whole heartedly and based on your own individual problems you and your parents must seek guidance of sai to take proper decision.
Always in relationship issues never hurry. Take time, think properly and act according to Sai's will :
The best way to act according to sai's will is to imagine that you burnt your image in society, image amoung relatives and friends & ego , pride, status etc in the DHUNI ( sacred fire of baba ). Then whole heartedly think what will you do if you have Baba's heart.....Then seek baba's guidance.Surely your/ your children's life will be good.
Both parents and couples who are in love please forgive me if i am wrong. I am just a ordinary humble servant of saibaba of shirdi. I love sai all my life and doing all this just to make sure few yougsters who are shirdi saibaba devotees gets some guidance based on which they and their parents can sit togather, discuss, try to divert the misunderstanding in their family by involving in little good deeds like Annadhan for poor, giving dress for poor and also doing any pooja for shirdi sai baba so that they will finally be able to understand each others feelings, most importantly understand Baba's ways and heart to take a decision for a beautiful, peacefull, happy married life.
Always in feets of shirdi sai
Dear friend, try to do the below pooja in starsai.com instead of always worrying about your life. Am sure sai will bless you with a happy married life. You can mail me also. As a sai friend, i shall reply when i have time but again i must say am also a ordinary person and all i do is join you to pray sai whole heartedly for your good life.
Pooja for children of Shirdi saibaba to gain blessings of Sai for peaceful married life